I was recently in a meeting with six others talking through plans for an upcoming event and brainstorming some ideas on how it should work and what would be effective.

It became obvious that three of the six were much more experienced in these areas then I was. They had been there and done it before, I was new to this process, The other three I am going to be generous to myself and say that they were on the same level of experience as I was, though I am probably discounting their experience a bit because they just didn't say much in the meeting.

The meeting had the usual throwing out ideas, debating and adopting or discarding those ideas, interrupting others to get our own ideas into the mix.

But something that I noticed in the meeting that I had to process for a while afterwards was the observation of how much my input was valued and validated. When I spoke up, everyone seemed to pay more attention, nobody interrupted me as I spoke and they gave me all the time I wanted to explain my idea. Not once did they shoot down any of my ideas but instead if they weren’t good enough they would be affirmed and then modified and built on.

This wasn’t the case with other people's ideas, If they weren’t deemed good enough then they were questioned or just plain shot down. I watched as some of them interrupted or talked over others in the meeting, not in a mean way, but just a normal debating of ideas. But for some reason they didn’t do this when I talked.

Now, I would like to believe that it was the quality of my ideas, and the compelling way that I presented them that gained me such a hearing and respect. This is my natural ego centric way of thinking, but the reality is not quite that simple. For me to believe that, I would have to overlook a significant and obvious dynamic in the room.

All six of the others in the room were women.

Six women listened intently as I talked

Six women valued and validated my ideas

Six women didn't interrupt or talk over me as I talked

Six women complimented me and my ideas even as they improved them.

They didn’t have this level of deference with each others ideas and input, again not that they were mean or obnoxious in any way, they were just particularly deferential to me and my ideas.

So, Maybe I can claim a hint of credit for the quality of ideas and compelling presentation, and in the past I would have taken all the credit, but I think I would be mistaken to not understand and respect the dynamic in the room.

Understanding my own privilege is hard because it's the air I breathe.

The way I am treated or should I say not mistreated is normal for me as the air I breathe. It’s how I grew up, it’s how the world should be, right? I mean it just so normal.

I honestly don’t think I would have noticed the dynamic in the room if it wasn’t made as clear because of the six to one ratio. I’m sorry to say that if there had been just one or two women I would have probably overlooked this dynamic entirely.

Which goes to show just how much I have missed, because this dynamic has probably been in many of the meetings that I have been in, but I was oblivious to it.

Sure, understanding and coming to grips with my own privilege is hard, but not as hard as living without the privilege that I take for granted.
refer business to competitors?

I love it when a client sends me a question that makes me go, "hmm."

I’ve posted an example -- see what you think and post your ideas in the comments section.

"Seth, if I'm asked about a project that isn't a good fit, and I think that it's a good fit for one of my competitors, should I refer it to them? I've been hesitant to because:

1. It greatly reduces the chances that the prospect will ever hire me since they'll create a relationship with my competitor, and
2. The prospect may send future referrals to my competitor, helping my competitor and potentially hurting me.

I have no problem referring to those who aren't competitors (either because they offer different services or work at very different budget levels), but I'm not sure if I should refer prospects who aren't a good fit, or just tell them, "good luck finding someone."

What do you think?

Before I attempt to give an answer to this, let me first lay out a bias that will influence my answer. I have previously written about the scarcity vs abundance mindsets and how they affect your worldview and thereby affect the way you design and show up in your business. If you read that post, it will be obvious that I hold to the abundance mindset and that will affect the way I answer this question. For those who didn’t read that post, the Abundance Mentality, is the belief that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, recognition, profits, and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.

This is both bias and belief because I can't scientifically prove to you that this answer is the right answer, and I can find anecdotal evidence pointing to both the positive and negative points of this issue. But, it's my belief that holding onto the abundance mindset will give both you and I a much better outcome over the course of our lives.

By the way, all this is also based on the assumption that the competition in mind is one that you respect and would trust yourself. If you don't respect and trust your competitor, then you should never refer a potential client.

So, looking at this question through the perspective of abundance, here’s how I see it.

1. There is plenty of business to go around.

2. If your competition is truly a good fit for the prospect, then you will give them the greatest value by referring them to your competition. Giving the best value to your prospect shouldn't be underrated, and it will come back to benefit you in many ways such as being seen in the marketplace as a trusted resource.

3. If they find your competition on their own, which they will have to do in order to satisfy a need, then they will most likely never come back to you. In this scenario, the competition did something of value, and you never even tried to help them.

4. If you do provide an honest referral then that leaves you in a very positive position in their minds. As far as future work goes, this leaves you in what I call the "on-deck circle." This places you next in line if they have any future needs or if that competition isn't able to meet future needs.

5. It's a gutsy move that exudes confidence. It says: I know the value that I have and what I bring to the table. I also know my limits, and I am not scared that others have different strengths.

Give it a try sometime. If you don't think you should take the project, then tell the prospect that you may not be the best fit and give them the contact information for a competitor who you would trust. You can even tell the prospect that they are your competition. People will respect this move both for its courage and its integrity. They can tell that you are looking out for them even at your own expense, and that kind of reputation tends to get around.

If you want to engender some further goodwill in your industry, go ahead and tell your competitor of the prospect you are sending their way. Shock your competitor with your confidence and integrity-- it may come back to benefit you in some strange ways in the future.

Over the years I have read hundreds of leadership related books, attended many conferences and seminars all teaching people the habits, mindsets, and skills of being a leader. The common thread in this area was a somewhat nebulous idea that the objective was to be an influential person, to having power and clout. To be able to make a difference in the world both for yourself and others.

In fact, a summary of the entire leadership development field would be:
learning the skills to win friends and influence people in order to gain power for yourself that you can then use for whatever you think is best.

But there is something missing from the mix and that is an element I like to call the Cincinnatus quality.

Around 400 BC when Rome was a fledgling city-state republic run by consuls and the senate, there was a dispute with a tribe called the Aquei, and the Aquei army was headed towards Rome. The Romans quickly organized their army and marched out to meet them. The Romans won the first few skirmishes but didn’t realize they were being setup for a trap. As they pursued the Aquei they were led into a large valley with only a few gaps among the steep mountains, the Aquei had prepared barricades to block the entrances and trap the Roman army away from any supplies.

When Rome found out about this, they were in a panic. They were afraid that their entire army would need to surrender, leaving the city extremely vulnerable to conquest. The Roman senate decided that because of the present emergency they were going to appoint a dictator. Now surprisingly a dictator in the Roman Republic was an actual government position appointed in times of crisis. A Senate system doesn’t work well in times of crisis so they appoint one man to become a dictator who has complete control over all areas of government.

The person they chose was a retired consul named Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. He is know in history as simply Cincinnatus, and we have a city named after him called Cincinnati. After the senate appointed him, they found him plowing in his field. Once told about the problem and the appointment, Cincinnatus raced to the city, raised a second army, and went out to save the main army.

Cincinnatus had sent scouts out to assess the situation and realized that the Aquei had divided their army to protect the different passes. So Cincinnatus chose the pass that best allowed him to approach without giving the Aquei time to assemble a large force. He was able to fall on that portion of the army, defeat it, and free the main army. Using that army, he quickly surrounded and forced the Aquei to surrender.

When he returned to Rome at the head of the combined triumphant army, as was the custom, an enormous parade was thrown with Cincinnatus in a Chariot at the head of the procession wearing a laurel wreath on his head.

Cincinnatus had won. He now had all the position, power, influence, goodwill, and political capital he could ever need.

So what did he do? Two days later he disbanded his army, resigned his commission, turned control back over to the senate, and went back to plowing his field.

400 years later in the Roman province of Judea there was an itinerant prophet who was gaining a great deal of attention and followers through his preaching. He had his growing group of loyal disciples and everyone, it seemed, both rich and poor, came out into the wilderness to hear this man preach.

He was doing what all the leadership development technics say. He had great personal discipline, he had developed a compelling message, and he was very skillful and bold in getting his message out there to the world. He had an amazingly bright future ahead of him.

Then one day another man walked by and this itinerant preacher, named John, said to all of his followers, “behold the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.” This made some of his disciples curious, so they left John and started following this other man, Jesus. Soon Jesus was also preaching and drawing crowds, causing more disciples and people to leave John as they started listening to Jesus. John’s Disciples were concerned that his star was being eclipsed and his influence was waning, but John said this: “He must increase, and I must decrease.” John knew that his leadership wasn’t about making a name and following for himself. He was the voice in the wilderness, preparing the way for the Lord. He knew that it wasn’t about him but about the one that he would prepare the way for and baptize. Jesus would become the person of significance while John would later rot in prison until he was beheaded, all the while content that he had done his job. This is Cincinnatus type of leadership.

In our country's history, we have a man who was called a Cincinnatus type of leader. In the dark fledgling days of our war for independence, George Washington was giving charge of a ragtag army that was attempting to defeat the current world power. After he accomplished this herculean task, he found himself in an interesting position. He was the undisputed, most-popular person at the head of a victorious army in a nation that had no organized form of government, no structure, with nobody to run the affairs of state. Washington's officers asked him to declare himself the king for at least a time until the job of governing could be sorted out. And if he had done that, while a few would have had misgivings, almost no one would have stood in his way. It would have been so easy.

In fact soon after the war an American named Benjamin West was living in London and King George asked him what kind of a government he thought Washington would set up. Benjamin replied that he understood Washington was planning on retiring to his farm. King George was believed to have replied that “if he does that, then he will be the greatest man of the age.”

George Washington chose the Cincinnatus path and resigned his commission as leader of the army and returned to his farm.

When the first attempt at governing the colonies failed and they decided to call a constitutional convention, George Washington was asked to be the president of that body, after which he again went back home.

It was no surprise to anyone that he was the first person to be elected president. And they would have let him keep right on serving until he died, but Washington realized that he needed to pass the torch. After just two terms he stepped aside and allowed for what, at that time, was an incredible rarity of a peaceful organized transfer of power to an unrelated person.

His Cincinnatus-like precedent of only serving two terms was honored by all but one of his successors.

These three men all exemplify the quality of leadership that realizes that it’s not all about you. It’s not always you that will become the recognized, respected, leader. Sometimes our leadership ability is the ability to see the bigger picture than what we want and what we can do. There is a time for us to put ourselves forward, and a time for us to retire, and we must have the wisdom to know the difference. The Cincinnatus quality of realizing that our leadership may be all about preparing for and being a champion for someone else.

In my own life, one of the things that I have noticed is that having kids has hindered me from doing all the “leadership things” that I want to in the communities that I am part of. But am I missing the point? Maybe the point of my leadership isn’t about me being the big influencer with all the clout and prestige. Maybe it’s all about me preparing my kids and even preparing the way for my kids?

Maybe the best thing I can do is be someone else’s champion and supporter, instead of seeking a position of power for myself.

The leadership development material I have read so much of gives lip service to helping others but underlying it seems to be the idea that the reason to help others is that it will, in turn, will give us the influence we so desire.

We are trying to gain influence but to what end? To gain more influence?

Being willing to give up power, being willing to step aside, being willing to promote someone else is the leadership quality that we don’t talk much about.

There is a natural urge in all of us to get as much "stuff" for ourselves as we possibly can, and by "stuff" I mean all those things that we might want: possessions, attention, toys, money, sex, success. You know what I'm talking about. All those things that we fight over and cling to and get our feelings hurt over.

I say this is an urge in all of us because I see it in my life, in my children and in pretty much everyone else as well. My children want toys, lots of toys, and other people’s toys too. They don't want any toys taken away from them. And as they get bigger, that attitude won't change-- just the toys will change.

There is another perspective on life out there and this one isn't as natural. It's one that needs to be discovered but more than discovered it needs to be cultivated. My early years of discovering this perspective could best be described as "holding stuff with an open hand". Wanting and having stuff isn't bad at all, we are human and we need stuff. But where I see it becoming a problem is when we cling to and grab all the stuff we possibly can, holding onto it with clenched fists, projecting to the world that what's mine is mine and I am still going to try to get as much of what you have as I can and make it mine. The idea of holding it with clenched fists comes from a position of fear. Fear of others, fear of the world at large. Holding something with an open hand is a very different idea. It comes from a position of confidence and fearlessness. It says: I have this stuff and I'm not worried about it.

Let me be clear, I am not talking about being careless or irresponsible. There are obvious times to lock your doors and take precautions against loss. But I hope you can understand the idea and perspective that I invite when I use the phrase 'holding onto stuff with an open hand'.

When I say this open-handed perspective isn't natural, what does that mean? Well, l let me state an opinion: I'm not sure I could truly hold stuff with an open hand if I didn't have a belief in God and his goodness.

This shift from fear/greed/close-fistedness towards confidence/open-handedness is a skill you must practice. It takes years to develop and work through your life.

Now that I have explained these ideas to you, let me change the wording. When I first read Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People I discovered that (no surprise) he explained this idea much better than I did. He called it the Scarcity vs Abundance Mindset. So let me paraphrase some of his explanation here to give you a better perspective.

The Scarcity Mindset

Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there was only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition, credit, power, or profit. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.

The Scarcity Mindset revolves around the idea that there simply isn’t enough to go around. There can be only one raise at work, and if one person gets it, everyone else can’t have it.

A Scarcity Mindset can come across as either the User or the Hoarder.
The User always focuses on the extreme short term of every decision. What is the most fun option right now? What uses up the resources I have right now so that they can’t be taken away later?

The Hoarder is so fearful of the future that they hold everything, never really using, enjoying or giving anything based on that fear.

Scarcity also creates sadness and jealousy. Someone else got a promotion, I didn’t get. That other person got that special thing and I did not. With that comes feelings of jealousy toward the person who got the raise or a feeling of sadness that somehow you were not rewarded with that perk.

The Abundance Mindset

The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner-sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, recognition, profits, and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.

Typically, the Abundance Mentality focuses on the long term. It involves a deep understanding that just because you don’t get to have something right now does not mean you won’t be able to have it later. Someone else getting a raise does not mean you will never get a raise.
It also tends to create positive feelings towards others. If you feel as though someone else’s perk is not taking away from anything you have in your life or anything you may yet receive, it becomes much, much easier to feel happy for that person. Another person getting a raise or finding a nice relationship is not a source of jealousy or internal pain – it can be a source of genuine happiness.

Bestselling author and speaker Zig Ziglar summed up the abundance mindset with his statement: “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want”.

The abundance mindset is about being in service to others. It’s not about serving others to get something ― that’s not authentic and true service. People can see the difference. Never underestimate that a lack of authenticity isn’t being picked up on by the people around you. No matter how smart you think you are, or how good you think you’re pulling it off, people know.

To be in genuine service to others is to open yourself up to real disappointment in how that service is received, perceived, or even abused. Some people see humility and a truly honest attempt to help. Others see it as weak or suspect. Another may see it as a meal ticket. If someone shows up and bends the world differently, people doubt their genuineness, because it just doesn’t happen very often.

You get to choose how you will see the world, and that view will affect the way you show up each day, and the way you show up will determine the way the world responds to you.

If you're trying to do it all,

you're doing it wrong.

The job of the CEO is managing the white spaces on the organizational chart. Not trying to do and be everything for that business.

But stepping aside and leaving your baby in the hands of someone else to care for it is one of the most difficult things that an entrepreneur will ever have to do, but it's often exactly what needs to happen for your small business to grow. Trusting your management team and staff to make decisions that you've always made yourself. Who can blame you for thinking this is difficult? After all, it was your idea, and it was you who took the risk to actually start this venture. It was you who invested your savings. It was you who co-signed with the bank and credit card companies and put your personal assets on the line. And it's you who stays awake at night staring up at the ceiling, knot in your stomach, worrying about everything that could go wrong.

There will come a point for every small business owner to begin trusting those around you to make decisions that will have an effect on your business.

If you learn to relinquish some of that responsibility, then one of two things will happen:

1. As your business grows, your time and energy will continue stretching to a point where you will either fall over from exhaustion or begin making costly mistakes yourself.

2. Your business will never mature beyond where you have the ability to take it and never grow beyond where you are capable of overseeing every little detail, micromanaging the business into ongoing smallness and irrelevance.

It's interesting that the very skill that allowed you to actually overcome the small business success odds (80% fail in 5 years) was your micromanagement and personal oversight of every little detail of the business because the reality is, that's what it takes to make a startup successful. Before you have a team of smart people, you have you, your idea, your dream and your will to make that vision a reality. It required you to delve into every little area of the business:

  • what’s our name/brand/logo - I'm on it
  • where will we open our bank account - let me check
  • who is going to make our website - guess I'd better look into that
  • who is going to make our product, provide our service - who else but me
  • who is going to do the sales calls - me again
  • who is going to clean the office - you guessed it

The list never ends, I know.
Launching a venture requires thousands of decisions— mostly small, some large, all made by you. What you did was amazing. Not only did you make all these decisions, but if you made it past the startup stage then you made enough right decisions. Way to go.

There is some Irony in this because your ability to micromanage is what made you successful at the startup stage but your need to micromanage as you grow is the very thing that will keep you from being successful at the next stage of business. If you don’t find a better way it will end up either killing you, killing your business or damming it to perpetual infancy and irrelevance.

But as you grow, as the client base, number of employees, number of widgets shipped all grow to the point where it's impossible for you to make every decision, there isn't enough time in the day. Even if you could, would you want to? Living on the edge of burnout, always striving but knowing that every step forward is one that is going to take away from your life not give you more life, and isn't that the reason you started this crazy business in the first place? to give you more life? and yet your Frankenstein of a creation is the very thing that will end up killing you and keeping you from living the life you want.

Business pundits are forever touting the importance of being flexible and nimble. What that means, though, is that you and your business must be willing and able to let go of behaviors that were successful in the past and are no longer working.

In order for your business to get to that next level, you are going to need to reinvent your business and that starts with reinventing yourself because let's face it, you are your business, your business is you. Your identity is so wrapped up in the business that it's hard to see where one stops and one starts. You need to change your mindset and the way you show up in your business in order for the business to develop and grow.

Mitchell Kertzman, Founder of Powersoft once said,
"When I started [my first] company, it was a one-man business. There was a time when I did every job in this company. I wrote the programs, I sent out the bills, I did the accounting, I answered the phone, I made the coffee. As the company has grown, I do fewer and fewer of those jobs. And that's just as well, because I was less competent at them than most of the people who are doing them now. I'm the reverse of the Peter Principle in the sense that I've finally risen to my level of competence, which is that I don't do anything very well and now what I do extremely well is nothing."

Your job as the founder/leader of the business is to lead it into the future your ability to lead it is directly proportional to your ability to let go of things.

Let me explain.
Your willingness and ability to let go will determine both the potential of your business and the level of freedom that you will enjoy in your life.
Now if you are like most business owners, you are already shouting at the screen saying, "I'm completely ready to let go. I can't find anyone who is willing and able to do it like I do"— let me say, in the most gentle way, that the problem isn't your people or your lack of them. The problem is you and your business. You and your business aren't ready for them yet.
Trust me on this, when you show up differently in your business, slowly, but surely, the leaders will show up. What's that old saying about when the student is ready the teacher will appear, well when the opportunity is ready the leader will appear.

How do you show up differently in your business? Start out by not trying to find another one of you because that won't happen, Cloning is not yet a viable option and I wouldn’t count on that. For years, by default, you have designed the business around you and what works for you and you always ended up frustrated that no one else was able to work it like you did.

Don't expect that people will think for themselves if they have always had you around to do their thinking for them. Stop answering their questions. You've made the business decisions for this business for years. You’re the fastest and the best. Stop it.

Make room for Your employees to make decisions, make room for them to fail, allow them to fail, allow them to see the consequences of their failure, then give them the space to make another decision and possibly fail again. That's how you did it, right? You made thousands of decisions and some were right and some were wrong and some had consequences. How do you expect them to grow into leaders who can lead your business if they never learn the way you did? Yes, you should be able to shortcut some of their mistakes, but you can't eliminate them.

How do you give them space to become leaders?
How about by not showing up? And I know that in your mind the only reason this business still works is that you are always there to make sure that it all works. If that's the life you want, if that's the business you want, then keep doing the same thing because that's what you're going to get.

How about not showing up at all? How's that for a scary thought? Who would step up to fill that leadership vacuum? Will they show up the first day? Nope. The second day? Probably not. Will they show up and immediately do the kind of job that you do? Nope. Just how long did it take you do get to the point of leadership that you are now?

This shift is a hard one to make, but you need to understand that as the leader of the company, your most important contribution is to lead the company into the future— without you.

Bo Burlingham, the Editor of Inc. Magazine, once said that “great companies don't always focus on supporting the community, instead they build a company that is so awesome that the community molds itself around the company.” This is true but it’s only one side of the coin. A business can’t help but be affected and altered by the community in which it’s located. 

A business is made up of people, those people come from and live in a community, the culture of the business can’t help but be altered based on that community. The nature of a business, the business model, and the values of the leadership of the business, in turn, can’t help but affect the employees and the people of their community.

This combination of business and community is similar to marriage because in marriage your lives are never fully separated from each other. I’m not sure how valid it is but there are all those stories and pictures of married people beginning to look like each other after many years. It’s the same thing with business and the community.

For a number of years (96-04), I lived just outside of the twin cities of Benton Harbor and St. Joseph (St. Joe). These cities are situated on either side of a river just as it empties into Lake Michigan. In St. Joe, the city is located on a bluff with amazing sunset views over the lake. St, Joe was a truly happening place in the early part of the 20th century. It’s surprising as you look at some of the histories of that time; the small town of St. Joseph nationally broadcast boxing matches of heavyweight champion Jack Dempsy, as well as being a destination for the wealthy and influential of Chicago. St. Joe was one nicknamed “Al Capone’s Playground” because of all the time he and his lieutenant spent there. This rich history is all evident as you look at all the large buildings that popped up between 1910 and 1950. But in the time I lived there, it was a very different place, old mansions and stone buildings boarded up and abandoned. There was never any reason to go downtown, the shopping area was on the edge of town near the interstate. The only real reason I would go to St. Joe was to get to the beach. The city had amazing potential because of the river and lakeshore, and close proximity to Chicago, but here it was, a place that you really wouldn’t be that excited about living.

During this time I took a trip out to Seattle and I noticed that so many buildings, wings of museums and events were funded by Microsoft, they seemed to take an interest in the life of their local city. Coming back to the St. Joe area, I started looking around for the same thing but couldn’t see any evidence that any local large companies were interested in the life of the local city. St. Joe is headquarters for Whirlpool Corporation-- you can see their name on a number of buildings around the city and their HQ location on the lakeshore, but no real evidence of their awareness of their home city.

I didn’t think much more about it because there are so many reasons why a city like Seattle flourishes and a city like St. Joe stagnates and decays, I didn’t really put that much thought into the connection between businesses and communities.

Then I moved up the Lake Michigan coastline to the city of Holland which was also at a river mouth leading into Lake Michigan and roughly the same size as the twin cities area. Both had a mixture of industry, tourism, and farming for their economy. But Holland was flourishing, the downtown was beautiful with many reasons to visit and most of the buildings were occupied and in great shape. So while I could see the parallels, I didn’t think that much about it because as I said before, there are many reasons why a city flourishes or decays. But the more I was in Holland the more I heard stories about a man named Edgar Prince the founder of Prince Corporations.

Prince began his career as an engineer at a company that made tool and die equipment, but in 1965 he opened his own shop and started not only creating machines but new products as well, his company invented the lighted mirror on the visor that is ubiquitous now and became a large manufacturer of interior auto parts. They built it up into the largest business in the Holland area employing thousands. In 1996, Prince then sold the company to JCI for $1.35 billion.

Along the way, Prince showed himself to be a person who cared a great deal about his employees by creating a work that was ahead of its time. Employees held access to a health and fitness program where they encouraged exercise and fitness with financial rewards and even built an impressive exercise room in their facilities to allow employees to exercise. Prince realized that the community people lived in was a significant factor in their quality of life and therefore their quality of work, so he set out to improve the city. He did the usual sponsorship of community events but he went much further than just giving money when asked for it.

He looked at the core downtown area of the city built up in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s with beautiful architecture but in the 1980’s was a hollowed out worn out and crumbling city center. Everyone began moving their businesses to where the mall and all the new chain stores and franchises were located, leaving the city center to crumble and waste away. He started with one iconic old bank building that was about to be torn down, he bought it, rehabbed it and leased it out on extremely favorable terms to the businesses Prince thought would be attractive and spark interest back into the area. He did this to building after building, amassing for himself what is now a very valuable set of properties. But Prince never ran his properties in a way to extract the maximum dollar value out of them. He had a bigger vision, one of a thriving community that would have those local businesses in the city center that give each town their unique style and flavor. He knew that to both attract and retain the best employees, he would need to have an attractive community with good educational options where they could live and raise their families. Today, Architectural Digest has named the Holland Downtown to be the most beautiful in Michigan.

As he was revitalizing this downtown corridor he used his engineering brain and his Dutch roots of efficiency and not wasting anything to come up with a novel idea at the time of installing a snowmelt system of hot water pipes underneath the pavers on the sidewalks and the asphalt of the street throughout the downtown area. So that through the long winter and the lake effect snow our downtown is completely snow free, meaning no plowing, no salt, no shoveling, no slips and falls, no ugly snow drifts where the snow is piled up. This made it into a wintertime downtown shopping experience and a wintertime runners paradise. His engineering and dutch frugality came into play because he pointed out that there was a city-owned power plant close to the edge of this corridor and that power plant produced hot water as a by-product that they had to vent into the air after it helped them turn their turbines. His suggestion was to use that leftover energy in the form of hot water and pump it through the downtown to melt the snow, making the ongoing cost of the snowmelt, not an issue.

After thinking it through and designing it he gave his plans over to the city along with a 250K check asking them to look into it. They did and after raising more funds from him and others they set out on this aggressive rebuild of tearing up all the streets and sidewalks, dramatically improving the aesthetics at the same time as they built this snow melt network.

The snowmelt network proved to be an amazing hit and generated lots of positive attention for the downtown area, it became a Christmas shopping destination partly because of this unique feature. In the years since, they have expanded the snowmelt system so that today the little town of Holland, Michigan has the largest snowmelt system in North America. Other cities come and check out what the city has been doing for the last 20 years because of things like the snowmelt system that traces back to Edgar Prince and Prince Corp.

After Prince sold the company, he did something unusual. Each of the 1000’s of employees received a check from Prince Corp. based on a formula of years worked and contribution. These were not small checks, they started out around 50K and went up into the millions for some. They had no obligation for this and the employees had no expectation of these checks. It was just Prince Corps way of saying thank you for what you have done.

What happened next seems obvious in retrospect. Those employees who had been used to working in a very creative and open culture were now working for JCI corporation with a very different culture, but something was different from other corporate mergers. These employees held a large check in their hands. Soon new engineering and design companies started up, new small specialty manufacturing companies launched and various other support businesses put out their shingles. High-quality employees + Prince culture + Sale to JCI + Large bonus checks = a wave of new small businesses starting in Holland forming the backbone of the economic resurgence that we have enjoyed for the last 15 years.

I realize I have over-simplified the success of these two similar cities down to the effect of one significant business, but I believe that these two corporations through their involvement and non-involvement greatly altered the outcomes of these two communities.

But some good news for St. Joseph. Whirlpool Corp., realizing they could not hold the best young talent in their city, began taking an interest in their community. They have gotten behind a number of initiatives to revitalize and improve the downtown ecosystem, their success is evident in the number of new businesses occupying buildings on the main strip that once sat idle. If they just look north along the lake shore they could see a good example of how Edgar Prince and his company did it.
"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want."
- Zig Ziglar

We are conditioned to be consumers. We get this both from our human nature of “me first”, what do I want thinking, and all the marketing and advertising that surround us preying on those selfish instincts. But how do we use those same instincts to create rather than just consume?

How well do you remember the short fidget spinner craze? Every kid and some adults had to have a fidget spinner to play with. I began seeing kids playing with them and within a week my son came back from his 2nd-grade class and told me that he really wants a fidget spinner. So we start checking them out.

We went to the store and after some difficulty, we found them for $19. We decided to check online and find them on Amazon for between $8 and $15.

Now normal consumer mode is, you go to the store, you see something you like, and you buy it. I wanted it, I bought it. Mission accomplished.

Advanced consumer mode is you see something that you want, you look around for the best price and then you buy it, congratulating yourself that you saved money, and ignoring the fact that you just spent money. So saving money really wasn’t a savings at all just a reduction of the amount you spent.

I wanted to show my son something else and so we checked out the Alibaba site which is a great place to pick up products from overseas wholesalers. We found fidget spinners that you could buy in large quantities at great prices, then we found one seller whose minimum quantity was 5 and the price was $1.75 each. Now we could have slipped back into consumerism and purchased a larger quantity and walked away feeling good about the deal we had gotten. But I wanted him to see the bigger picture.

I wanted him to take that instinct of “I want something” and understand how others wanted things too and so we had a conversation about other kids. Do the kids in his class want some of these too? We talked about him possibly buying these at these low prices and selling them to others in his class.

So, he decided to go for it. I placed the order and he went to his piggy bank and brought me $8.75 for the 5 fidget spinners.

Three weeks later they arrived and he obviously had fun playing with them. But the next morning he took them with him in his backpack. Now he had already told a few of his friends about them and so the first day he sold 2 for $5 each and by the end of the week, he sold a third one. He decided to give one of them to his sister and of course, keep one for himself.

This meant that while he had to wait for three weeks before he got one, he now had one for himself, he gave one away to his sister and he helped three kids in his class get one at a very low price compared to the stores. Plus, he walked away with a profit of $6.25.

Standard consumerism means he pays $19 for a toy. Entrepreneurialism means he helps others get one for much less then they would have and he walks away with a toy and a profit.

We talked about doing the whole thing again and making some more money. And this led to 2 conversations.
  1. Understanding the temporary nature of a fad. I talked to him about what a fad is and how they come and go, sometimes rather quickly and since he had seen this one come quickly but didn’t have enough life experience to see fads go, I told him stories about how other fads had come and gone. And we realized that this fad would fade in time.
  2. His natural market for selling these was limited and he realized that almost every one of the kids he knew now had a fidget spinner and trying to sell more, while it’s possible, would face increasing difficulty. There are times to take your small easy profit and walk away instead of always reaching for more and bigger profits.
Being an entrepreneur doesn’t always mean that you have to start a business. Sometimes it just means seeing a need and realizing that you can find a solution to that need for yourself and others. But it requires you to see beyond your own, me first, what do I want mentality and think about what others want. Because if you help enough others get what they want, you will be able to get what you want.

Today Christian still talks about fads and points out things that he wonders might be or become fads. He is still dominated by the “me first”, what do I want mentality, (aren’t we all?), but he is now looking at the world and seeing opportunity to make money while helping others where before he saw only what he himself wanted.

There are times when you are in situations where none of the outcomes are very desirable and it seems you must make the best of a bad situation by choosing the lesser of two evils. But maybe, just maybe there is another path out there if you use your imagination.

In 1992 Southwest Airlines faced a high stakes dilemma. It's much-advertised slogan. "just plane smart" was, unfortunately, too similar to the "plane smart" slogan already being used by Stevens Aviation, an airline sales company in South Carolina.

It seemed that a lawsuit was imminent.

But a lawsuit is how ordinary CEO's settle their differences.

Herb Kelleher, Southwest's (crazy like a fox) CEO was no ordinary CEO.  Along with the CEO of Stevens Aviation, he staged "Malice in Dallas". The two men actually agreed to arm wrestle for the right to use the slogan! The newspapers and TV journalist jumped on the story giving each company enormous publicity.

Amid much fanfare and pomp, Southwest's Kelleher lost the match. With the crowd cheering and chanting, he was carried off in a stretcher. And what about that "plane smart" trademark? Stevens Aviation agreed to let Southwest use it anyway.

By trying something a little crazy Herb not only solved the problem, avoided litigation but he made it so that both companies received a lot of great publicity.

Too often when confronted with a problem we can only see one path ahead of us. in this case all of Herb's lawyers were telling him to get ready for a long drawn out lawsuit but Herb was a guy who was willing to think outside of the box and he let his mind wander until he found another possible path.

Yes, one that was a little crazy, but that's what made it so awesome.

When it seems you only have undesirable paths in front of you then maybe it's time to try something crazy.

When I was 16, I found myself in the unusual position of being in charge of the mailings dept team of a large nonprofit organization.

I remember one mailing where, as I was given the request and plans, I saw some problems, so I went to the office of Rob, the dept head who had requested the mailing. I explained the problem and he and I proceeded to brainstorm a solution. After 20 minutes, we felt like we had a workable solution. Rob then called a quick meeting of the other Dept heads involved in the project.

Now to set the stage, there were eight people at the table, each of them a Dept head or someone with technical expertise involved in the problem. The youngest of which was 10 years my senior. Then there was me, the literal "new kid on the block", the 16 year old who could have easily passed off as 14 years old. I was the guy with no credibility, no natural reason why anyone would notice or pay any attention to me or what I had to say. I assumed I would just pretty much be silent in the meeting and that Rob would run the meeting since he had called it.

I was surprised when he started the meeting by saying that there was a problem with the current setup of this large mailing, "but Seth came up with a great solution", turning to me to explain our solution. He could have easily and legitimately claimed credit or used the term "we" and explained it himself. But he did something unusual,
  • He gave me all the credit
  • He gave me all the credibility I needed by calling it a great plan
  • He turned the spotlight over to me, making me the primary driver of the meeting conversation.
This was 25 years ago and I still remember his words so clearly. I would never forget the confidence boost it gave me, the generous way he shared the credibility that he had with someone who had very little.

My teenage years were very unusual. I started working part-time when I was 13, full-time when I was 15, and by the time I was 17, I was putting in 60+ hour weeks and loving it. Along the way, as the need arose, I was promoted to manager over various progressively larger teams, moves that seemed strange largely because of my age. Strangely, the first time I had someone younger than me working for me and it was when I was 19.

As you can imagine other employees were quite skeptical of me being put in charge, My own boss initially didn't think it was possible for me to handle these situations because of my age. But, interestingly, his boss, Dwight the department director, simply said, let's give it a try and see if he can handle it. And so, I was thrown into the deep end of the pool to see if I could swim.

The pressure that was placed on me at a very young age was unusual in our society but, I learned and grew so much during that time, it was invaluable to me.

One of the things I experienced during that short period of my life was a great deal of discrimination based on my age. People would:
  • Dismiss what I had to say based on my age.
  • Tell me I couldn't do things because of my age.
  • Dismissively patronize me as I was trying to get things done.
  • Go around me to talk to my team members because they were older and must be in charge.
  • People I had negotiated large contracts with over the phone would do a double take when we met for the first time in person.
  • People felt surprisingly free to challenge me when I made a statement; making me feel I had to always be on the defensive because it was so easy for them to doubt my credibility.
  • People felt free to talk over me at meetings, or in some cases, barely even acknowledge that I was there.
Today however things are different: I am a 40-year-old, 6 foot 2 inches tall, Caucasian male with a deep enough voice. Professionally dressed and articulate enough that I could go almost anywhere, in almost any situation, and be taken seriously, given the benefit of the doubt and looked up too. It's easy for me to walk into pretty much any meeting and be listened too.

I don't currently deal with that same discrimination that I faced back then because I grew up. but going through it and experiencing it was a valuable learning experience. As you can imagine at times it was difficult but there were these few people like Rob and Dwight who through small acts of support showed empathy and grace, giving me the chance and opportunity that I needed to accomplish what many doubted I could because of my youth and inexperience. They looked beyond what the preconception that others had and gave me a chance to prove myself.

Looking back at what they did makes me wonder about what I am currently doing.

Our society generally ascribes leadership and credibility with some combination of the attributes of tall, deep-voiced, light skinned, older men, who dress "professionally" and speaks articulately. Yes, you can find many, many exceptions, but this is a generalized statement. Rob and Dwight fit those attributes yet they took someone who didn't quite match up to peoples preconceived notions of leadership and used their leadership and credibility to gave him the opportunity to prove himself. They used their culturally accepted credibility and shared it with someone who lacked what they naturally had.

I now live a life where I have leadership and credibility attributed to me, I have gained this through a combination of my own efforts of hard work and things given to me by my DNA of which I had zero involvement. I now have a proverbial seat at the table. What am I doing with it?

Having a seat at the table is great and all, but are you pulling out chairs for others to come and join you?

To quote an overused quote from the movie Spiderman: "with great power comes great responsibility."

You may think to yourself that you don't have any superpowers. You’re not chairman of the board of anything, you don't fit the list of culturally accepted leadership attributes, so you may feel that you need to wait for someone else to come along to help you. DON'T. You, right now, have a level of leadership, credibility, and power. What are you doing with it? Are you sharing what you have and giving a hand up to others by bringing them to the same table and sharing credibility with them so that they can have the opportunity to do what you have done.

There is a scarcity mentality that makes us fearful of giving away any leadership opportunity or credibility building situations because we are afraid that if we give away any of what we have it will mean less for us in the future. Rob, the guy from the initial story, could have so easily and naturally run that meeting by himself, it's what I expected him to do. Instead, he did the unusual and generous thing of putting the spotlight on me instead of himself. I still look up to him as a leader because of it.

I recently watched a short video with Arnold Schwarzenegger. At one point he started talking about being a self-made man:

“I came over here with absolutely nothing. I had $20 in the pocket and some sweaty clothes in a gym bag. Starting out, I had this one little apartment and on Thanksgiving, the bodybuilders from Gold’s Gym came to my apartment and they brought me pillows, dishes, silverware, all of the things I didn’t have. None of us can make it alone. None of us. Not even me, who’s been the Terminator and went back in time to save the human race. Not even me, that fought and killed predators with his bare hands.
“I always tell people that you can call me anything that you want, but don’t ever, ever call me a self-made man. It gives the wrong impression, that we can do it alone. None of us can. The whole concept of the self-made man or woman is a myth. I would have never made it in my life without the help. I want you to understand this because as soon as you know you are here because of a lot of help, then you also understand that now it’s time to help others. That’s what this is all about.”

You have achieved what you have through a combination of your family, your DNA, your birthplace, your time of birth, your environment, your community, your educational opportunities, your own will, desire, and hard work. Some of that you can claim credit for (good for you!), some of it you had handed to you. Despite it being overused, "with great power, comes great responsibility"
  • Who are you helping?
  • Who are you giving a hand up to?
  • Who are you giving an opportunity to?
  • Who are you shining the spotlight on?
  • Who are you bringing into your network or group of friends?
  • Who are you bringing in front of your peers and saying "_______ has a great idea"?
  • Who are you pulling out a chair for at the table?

We were taking a family trip, heading towards Austin, Texas. Due to spending too much time visiting a zoo, we weren’t going to make it to Austin that night, so I told Marie that we were probably going to end up spending the night in Waco Texas, and I saw her eyes light up.

Just a few years ago if you mentioned the city of Waco to anyone over the age of 35 their mind would haved gone to the FBI standoff with the Branch Davidian cult that ended in disaster in the early 90’s. That incident put the city of Waco on the map of people's consciousness.

So I was a little surprised that Marie was excited to stop in Waco until she mentioned that Waco was where Chip and Joanna Gaines were from and where they had their Magnolia store.

Our plans for the next morning immediately changed as we were now going to spend the morning at the Magnolia store. And it quite an experience as it should be.

Magnolia isn't in the downtown district or the shopping district, you go to the middle of the old run-down industrial area where it doesn’t look like anything has been built, or even seriously remodeled, for the last 30 years. Just a bunch of run-down factories, workshops and warehouses; and there in the middle is a large city block that is dominated by two old grain storage silos and a long industrial shop that looks like it was built in the 1940s, along with some other various small buildings and sheds. You could tell that this block was an eyesore within a larger eyesore of a rundown industrial center of a somewhat old and tired town that hadn’t seen vibrant growth in decades.

To my right I noticed a small brick building with the name Magnolia Bakery. Already there was a line out the door and around the block waiting to get in to buy some baked goods. Then I realized that even though we arrived at 9:00 AM on a Tuesday morning parking was hard to find, the empty deserted parking lots of the nearby old factories were being used and still we had to drive a block away to find parking. I saw people directing traffic and people greeting as you walked into the gates of the complex. I finaaly undersood my wife's excitement and I feared for my walled. We had just landed ourselves at the disneyland of Texas

The long old factory remade into a very cool looking store that had left so much of the old industrial feel in place and utilized it to give the store character. One corner brick building redone into a bakery, one shed remade into a seed store for gardeners, another rebuilt into a gardening supply store. The large open area on this city block made into a courtyard with green astroturf to make it a kid-friendly, family play area. I saw swings on the edges, large checkerboards, cornhole games and massive bean bag chairs sitting all over. What a fun place to hang out and play. They even used part of the old half shed with tin roof that they pulled the trucks through to load and empty the grain into the grain elevators, and really creatively, made it into a stage for performances looking out onto the courtyard green, complete with lights tucked up under the tin roof to light the stage. To top it off, the other two walls of this large courtyard were lined with around 16 food trucks, each with their own self contained business.

And destination it was. I did an informal poll of the people that I met there; asking where they were from, answers ranged from Kansas, Oklahoma, Dallas, Lufkin TX, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Kentucky, San Antonio, TX, Houston, TX and we were from Michigan. People were willing to drive early on a Tuesday morning in November. This place was THE place. The destination to draw people to this sleepy little town in the middle of Texas.

This place was a great example of how to run a good business. Their prices were exorbitantly high and people were flocking in to buy. I pointed out to my son how they had taken a clear small glass mason jar (cost maybe $1), put a bunch of wooden matches in it (cost $0.25), put a tin lid on it (maybe $0.25) with a sandpaper sticker on top of the lid, labeled it with Magnolia and called it “jar o matches” and sold it for $15. The store was packed, and I do mean packed. The line wrapped around the block for the bakery and the food trucks were doing brisk business.

Chip and Joanna Gaines are brilliant. Not only did they build a successful home design and remodeling business, but they parlayed that, combined with their fun, authentic, winsome personalities, into a HDTV show that made them not just well-known in their hometown, but world recognized and loved celebrities. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t love Chip and Joanna, their show was incredibly popular, and interestingly, they made the show highlight not just their work but also their hometown of Waco. Giving the broader world a reason, other than a disastrous cult standoff, to think of Waco. Then they used that show and their celebrity status to publicize the buying, restoring and opening a store on what used to be a worn-down wreck of a grain elevator and industrial block.

So, if you have seen the show or know anything about them you know that they are smart, likable, and have done alright for themselves. Good for them.

But what I saw is how they used their celebrity status. You see, most celebrities have great business opportunities pitched to them all the time, where they can take their name, face or voice and endorse someone else's product and make tons of money. Or, the smarter ones build their own brand name then slap that brand name on products from perfumes, clothing lines, sports equipment, and then National or International store chains carry those lines of product converting their nationwide celebrity into nationwide sales. Everyone from Martha Stewart to Kardashians and scores of others have followed this proven formula of successfully building and capitalizing on their celebrity brand status.

But Chip and Joanna Gaines did something unusual, they went local.

They had a National or larger fan base but instead of creating the Magnolia brand and selling it through Target or Amazon they instead created a local store in their favorite hometown of Waco. But they took it a step further, they didn’t just grab the best location in the nicest Waco shopping district, the cool downtown location or go up the road to upscale locations in Dallas next to the Apple store. They took the forgotten, neglected and looked like it needed to be torn down block in the middle of the industrial area that had two perfectly useless grain storage elevators and an old industrial building along with a collection of sheds.

This is a business that seemingly breaks all the ‘location, location, location’ rules.

With some creativity and vision, they bought it, turning it into a collection of stores and small businesses that provide a shopping experience worthy of drawing people from states away and leaving people stamped with the memory of their experience. Shopping and paying $15 for a ‘jar o matches’. They provided employment for a bunch of people in their hometown, they revitalized some of the worst parts of Waco, and you could just start seeing the coffee shops and restaurants, and even a coworking space popping up in the old industrial buildings in the blocks surrounding Magnolia. They made Waco into a tourist destination.

They made a huge impact in a small pond.

They could have just sold products under their brand name at Target and killed it, but they decided to do their own thing, in their own way, in their own town. Maybe they didn’t fully capitalize on their celebrity, maybe they left potential money on the table. But they sure have made a significant, and what I am guessing, long-standing impact on their town. Yeah, I think Chip and Joanna are doing fine financially, and maybe they could have sold through Amazon and made a few more million. Then they could have given those after-tax millions to their local community NFP organizations who were working to revitalize the city and area of Waco, or they could just launch their local business and have that business make the local impact that the community organizations only dream about.

It seems that the vision we are always given for growing a business is to get that business to a regional or national or international presence but what if instead we made a massive impact in our local community.