There is a natural urge in all of us to get as much "stuff" for ourselves as we possibly can, and by "stuff" I mean all those things that we might want: possessions, attention, toys, money, sex, success. You know what I'm talking about. All those things that we fight over and cling to and get our feelings hurt over.

I say this is an urge in all of us because I see it in my life, in my children and in pretty much everyone else as well. My children want toys, lots of toys, and other people’s toys too. They don't want any toys taken away from them. And as they get bigger, that attitude won't change-- just the toys will change.

There is another perspective on life out there and this one isn't as natural. It's one that needs to be discovered but more than discovered it needs to be cultivated. My early years of discovering this perspective could best be described as "holding stuff with an open hand". Wanting and having stuff isn't bad at all, we are human and we need stuff. But where I see it becoming a problem is when we cling to and grab all the stuff we possibly can, holding onto it with clenched fists, projecting to the world that what's mine is mine and I am still going to try to get as much of what you have as I can and make it mine. The idea of holding it with clenched fists comes from a position of fear. Fear of others, fear of the world at large. Holding something with an open hand is a very different idea. It comes from a position of confidence and fearlessness. It says: I have this stuff and I'm not worried about it.

Let me be clear, I am not talking about being careless or irresponsible. There are obvious times to lock your doors and take precautions against loss. But I hope you can understand the idea and perspective that I invite when I use the phrase 'holding onto stuff with an open hand'.

When I say this open-handed perspective isn't natural, what does that mean? Well, l let me state an opinion: I'm not sure I could truly hold stuff with an open hand if I didn't have a belief in God and his goodness.

This shift from fear/greed/close-fistedness towards confidence/open-handedness is a skill you must practice. It takes years to develop and work through your life.

Now that I have explained these ideas to you, let me change the wording. When I first read Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People I discovered that (no surprise) he explained this idea much better than I did. He called it the Scarcity vs Abundance Mindset. So let me paraphrase some of his explanation here to give you a better perspective.

The Scarcity Mindset

Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there was only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition, credit, power, or profit. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.

The Scarcity Mindset revolves around the idea that there simply isn’t enough to go around. There can be only one raise at work, and if one person gets it, everyone else can’t have it.

A Scarcity Mindset can come across as either the User or the Hoarder.
The User always focuses on the extreme short term of every decision. What is the most fun option right now? What uses up the resources I have right now so that they can’t be taken away later?

The Hoarder is so fearful of the future that they hold everything, never really using, enjoying or giving anything based on that fear.

Scarcity also creates sadness and jealousy. Someone else got a promotion, I didn’t get. That other person got that special thing and I did not. With that comes feelings of jealousy toward the person who got the raise or a feeling of sadness that somehow you were not rewarded with that perk.

The Abundance Mindset

The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner-sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, recognition, profits, and decision-making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.

Typically, the Abundance Mentality focuses on the long term. It involves a deep understanding that just because you don’t get to have something right now does not mean you won’t be able to have it later. Someone else getting a raise does not mean you will never get a raise.
It also tends to create positive feelings towards others. If you feel as though someone else’s perk is not taking away from anything you have in your life or anything you may yet receive, it becomes much, much easier to feel happy for that person. Another person getting a raise or finding a nice relationship is not a source of jealousy or internal pain – it can be a source of genuine happiness.

Bestselling author and speaker Zig Ziglar summed up the abundance mindset with his statement: “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want”.

The abundance mindset is about being in service to others. It’s not about serving others to get something ― that’s not authentic and true service. People can see the difference. Never underestimate that a lack of authenticity isn’t being picked up on by the people around you. No matter how smart you think you are, or how good you think you’re pulling it off, people know.

To be in genuine service to others is to open yourself up to real disappointment in how that service is received, perceived, or even abused. Some people see humility and a truly honest attempt to help. Others see it as weak or suspect. Another may see it as a meal ticket. If someone shows up and bends the world differently, people doubt their genuineness, because it just doesn’t happen very often.

You get to choose how you will see the world, and that view will affect the way you show up each day, and the way you show up will determine the way the world responds to you.

If you're trying to do it all,

you're doing it wrong.

The job of the CEO is managing the white spaces on the organizational chart. Not trying to do and be everything for that business.

But stepping aside and leaving your baby in the hands of someone else to care for it is one of the most difficult things that an entrepreneur will ever have to do, but it's often exactly what needs to happen for your small business to grow. Trusting your management team and staff to make decisions that you've always made yourself. Who can blame you for thinking this is difficult? After all, it was your idea, and it was you who took the risk to actually start this venture. It was you who invested your savings. It was you who co-signed with the bank and credit card companies and put your personal assets on the line. And it's you who stays awake at night staring up at the ceiling, knot in your stomach, worrying about everything that could go wrong.

There will come a point for every small business owner to begin trusting those around you to make decisions that will have an effect on your business.

If you learn to relinquish some of that responsibility, then one of two things will happen:

1. As your business grows, your time and energy will continue stretching to a point where you will either fall over from exhaustion or begin making costly mistakes yourself.

2. Your business will never mature beyond where you have the ability to take it and never grow beyond where you are capable of overseeing every little detail, micromanaging the business into ongoing smallness and irrelevance.

It's interesting that the very skill that allowed you to actually overcome the small business success odds (80% fail in 5 years) was your micromanagement and personal oversight of every little detail of the business because the reality is, that's what it takes to make a startup successful. Before you have a team of smart people, you have you, your idea, your dream and your will to make that vision a reality. It required you to delve into every little area of the business:

  • what’s our name/brand/logo - I'm on it
  • where will we open our bank account - let me check
  • who is going to make our website - guess I'd better look into that
  • who is going to make our product, provide our service - who else but me
  • who is going to do the sales calls - me again
  • who is going to clean the office - you guessed it

The list never ends, I know.
Launching a venture requires thousands of decisions— mostly small, some large, all made by you. What you did was amazing. Not only did you make all these decisions, but if you made it past the startup stage then you made enough right decisions. Way to go.

There is some Irony in this because your ability to micromanage is what made you successful at the startup stage but your need to micromanage as you grow is the very thing that will keep you from being successful at the next stage of business. If you don’t find a better way it will end up either killing you, killing your business or damming it to perpetual infancy and irrelevance.

But as you grow, as the client base, number of employees, number of widgets shipped all grow to the point where it's impossible for you to make every decision, there isn't enough time in the day. Even if you could, would you want to? Living on the edge of burnout, always striving but knowing that every step forward is one that is going to take away from your life not give you more life, and isn't that the reason you started this crazy business in the first place? to give you more life? and yet your Frankenstein of a creation is the very thing that will end up killing you and keeping you from living the life you want.

Business pundits are forever touting the importance of being flexible and nimble. What that means, though, is that you and your business must be willing and able to let go of behaviors that were successful in the past and are no longer working.

In order for your business to get to that next level, you are going to need to reinvent your business and that starts with reinventing yourself because let's face it, you are your business, your business is you. Your identity is so wrapped up in the business that it's hard to see where one stops and one starts. You need to change your mindset and the way you show up in your business in order for the business to develop and grow.

Mitchell Kertzman, Founder of Powersoft once said,
"When I started [my first] company, it was a one-man business. There was a time when I did every job in this company. I wrote the programs, I sent out the bills, I did the accounting, I answered the phone, I made the coffee. As the company has grown, I do fewer and fewer of those jobs. And that's just as well, because I was less competent at them than most of the people who are doing them now. I'm the reverse of the Peter Principle in the sense that I've finally risen to my level of competence, which is that I don't do anything very well and now what I do extremely well is nothing."

Your job as the founder/leader of the business is to lead it into the future your ability to lead it is directly proportional to your ability to let go of things.

Let me explain.
Your willingness and ability to let go will determine both the potential of your business and the level of freedom that you will enjoy in your life.
Now if you are like most business owners, you are already shouting at the screen saying, "I'm completely ready to let go. I can't find anyone who is willing and able to do it like I do"— let me say, in the most gentle way, that the problem isn't your people or your lack of them. The problem is you and your business. You and your business aren't ready for them yet.
Trust me on this, when you show up differently in your business, slowly, but surely, the leaders will show up. What's that old saying about when the student is ready the teacher will appear, well when the opportunity is ready the leader will appear.

How do you show up differently in your business? Start out by not trying to find another one of you because that won't happen, Cloning is not yet a viable option and I wouldn’t count on that. For years, by default, you have designed the business around you and what works for you and you always ended up frustrated that no one else was able to work it like you did.

Don't expect that people will think for themselves if they have always had you around to do their thinking for them. Stop answering their questions. You've made the business decisions for this business for years. You’re the fastest and the best. Stop it.

Make room for Your employees to make decisions, make room for them to fail, allow them to fail, allow them to see the consequences of their failure, then give them the space to make another decision and possibly fail again. That's how you did it, right? You made thousands of decisions and some were right and some were wrong and some had consequences. How do you expect them to grow into leaders who can lead your business if they never learn the way you did? Yes, you should be able to shortcut some of their mistakes, but you can't eliminate them.

How do you give them space to become leaders?
How about by not showing up? And I know that in your mind the only reason this business still works is that you are always there to make sure that it all works. If that's the life you want, if that's the business you want, then keep doing the same thing because that's what you're going to get.

How about not showing up at all? How's that for a scary thought? Who would step up to fill that leadership vacuum? Will they show up the first day? Nope. The second day? Probably not. Will they show up and immediately do the kind of job that you do? Nope. Just how long did it take you do get to the point of leadership that you are now?

This shift is a hard one to make, but you need to understand that as the leader of the company, your most important contribution is to lead the company into the future— without you.


Bo Burlingham, the Editor of Inc. Magazine, once said that “great companies don't always focus on supporting the community, instead they build a company that is so awesome that the community molds itself around the company.” This is true but it’s only one side of the coin. A business can’t help but be affected and altered by the community in which it’s located. 

A business is made up of people, those people come from and live in a community, the culture of the business can’t help but be altered based on that community. The nature of a business, the business model, and the values of the leadership of the business, in turn, can’t help but affect the employees and the people of their community.

This combination of business and community is similar to marriage because in marriage your lives are never fully separated from each other. I’m not sure how valid it is but there are all those stories and pictures of married people beginning to look like each other after many years. It’s the same thing with business and the community.

For a number of years (96-04), I lived just outside of the twin cities of Benton Harbor and St. Joseph (St. Joe). These cities are situated on either side of a river just as it empties into Lake Michigan. In St. Joe, the city is located on a bluff with amazing sunset views over the lake. St, Joe was a truly happening place in the early part of the 20th century. It’s surprising as you look at some of the histories of that time; the small town of St. Joseph nationally broadcast boxing matches of heavyweight champion Jack Dempsy, as well as being a destination for the wealthy and influential of Chicago. St. Joe was one nicknamed “Al Capone’s Playground” because of all the time he and his lieutenant spent there. This rich history is all evident as you look at all the large buildings that popped up between 1910 and 1950. But in the time I lived there, it was a very different place, old mansions and stone buildings boarded up and abandoned. There was never any reason to go downtown, the shopping area was on the edge of town near the interstate. The only real reason I would go to St. Joe was to get to the beach. The city had amazing potential because of the river and lakeshore, and close proximity to Chicago, but here it was, a place that you really wouldn’t be that excited about living.

During this time I took a trip out to Seattle and I noticed that so many buildings, wings of museums and events were funded by Microsoft, they seemed to take an interest in the life of their local city. Coming back to the St. Joe area, I started looking around for the same thing but couldn’t see any evidence that any local large companies were interested in the life of the local city. St. Joe is headquarters for Whirlpool Corporation-- you can see their name on a number of buildings around the city and their HQ location on the lakeshore, but no real evidence of their awareness of their home city.

I didn’t think much more about it because there are so many reasons why a city like Seattle flourishes and a city like St. Joe stagnates and decays, I didn’t really put that much thought into the connection between businesses and communities.

Then I moved up the Lake Michigan coastline to the city of Holland which was also at a river mouth leading into Lake Michigan and roughly the same size as the twin cities area. Both had a mixture of industry, tourism, and farming for their economy. But Holland was flourishing, the downtown was beautiful with many reasons to visit and most of the buildings were occupied and in great shape. So while I could see the parallels, I didn’t think that much about it because as I said before, there are many reasons why a city flourishes or decays. But the more I was in Holland the more I heard stories about a man named Edgar Prince the founder of Prince Corporations.

Prince began his career as an engineer at a company that made tool and die equipment, but in 1965 he opened his own shop and started not only creating machines but new products as well, his company invented the lighted mirror on the visor that is ubiquitous now and became a large manufacturer of interior auto parts. They built it up into the largest business in the Holland area employing thousands. In 1996, Prince then sold the company to JCI for $1.35 billion.

Along the way, Prince showed himself to be a person who cared a great deal about his employees by creating a work that was ahead of its time. Employees held access to a health and fitness program where they encouraged exercise and fitness with financial rewards and even built an impressive exercise room in their facilities to allow employees to exercise. Prince realized that the community people lived in was a significant factor in their quality of life and therefore their quality of work, so he set out to improve the city. He did the usual sponsorship of community events but he went much further than just giving money when asked for it.

He looked at the core downtown area of the city built up in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s with beautiful architecture but in the 1980’s was a hollowed out worn out and crumbling city center. Everyone began moving their businesses to where the mall and all the new chain stores and franchises were located, leaving the city center to crumble and waste away. He started with one iconic old bank building that was about to be torn down, he bought it, rehabbed it and leased it out on extremely favorable terms to the businesses Prince thought would be attractive and spark interest back into the area. He did this to building after building, amassing for himself what is now a very valuable set of properties. But Prince never ran his properties in a way to extract the maximum dollar value out of them. He had a bigger vision, one of a thriving community that would have those local businesses in the city center that give each town their unique style and flavor. He knew that to both attract and retain the best employees, he would need to have an attractive community with good educational options where they could live and raise their families. Today, Architectural Digest has named the Holland Downtown to be the most beautiful in Michigan.

As he was revitalizing this downtown corridor he used his engineering brain and his Dutch roots of efficiency and not wasting anything to come up with a novel idea at the time of installing a snowmelt system of hot water pipes underneath the pavers on the sidewalks and the asphalt of the street throughout the downtown area. So that through the long winter and the lake effect snow our downtown is completely snow free, meaning no plowing, no salt, no shoveling, no slips and falls, no ugly snow drifts where the snow is piled up. This made it into a wintertime downtown shopping experience and a wintertime runners paradise. His engineering and dutch frugality came into play because he pointed out that there was a city-owned power plant close to the edge of this corridor and that power plant produced hot water as a by-product that they had to vent into the air after it helped them turn their turbines. His suggestion was to use that leftover energy in the form of hot water and pump it through the downtown to melt the snow, making the ongoing cost of the snowmelt, not an issue.

After thinking it through and designing it he gave his plans over to the city along with a 250K check asking them to look into it. They did and after raising more funds from him and others they set out on this aggressive rebuild of tearing up all the streets and sidewalks, dramatically improving the aesthetics at the same time as they built this snow melt network.

The snowmelt network proved to be an amazing hit and generated lots of positive attention for the downtown area, it became a Christmas shopping destination partly because of this unique feature. In the years since, they have expanded the snowmelt system so that today the little town of Holland, Michigan has the largest snowmelt system in North America. Other cities come and check out what the city has been doing for the last 20 years because of things like the snowmelt system that traces back to Edgar Prince and Prince Corp.

After Prince sold the company, he did something unusual. Each of the 1000’s of employees received a check from Prince Corp. based on a formula of years worked and contribution. These were not small checks, they started out around 50K and went up into the millions for some. They had no obligation for this and the employees had no expectation of these checks. It was just Prince Corps way of saying thank you for what you have done.

What happened next seems obvious in retrospect. Those employees who had been used to working in a very creative and open culture were now working for JCI corporation with a very different culture, but something was different from other corporate mergers. These employees held a large check in their hands. Soon new engineering and design companies started up, new small specialty manufacturing companies launched and various other support businesses put out their shingles. High-quality employees + Prince culture + Sale to JCI + Large bonus checks = a wave of new small businesses starting in Holland forming the backbone of the economic resurgence that we have enjoyed for the last 15 years.


I realize I have over-simplified the success of these two similar cities down to the effect of one significant business, but I believe that these two corporations through their involvement and non-involvement greatly altered the outcomes of these two communities.

But some good news for St. Joseph. Whirlpool Corp., realizing they could not hold the best young talent in their city, began taking an interest in their community. They have gotten behind a number of initiatives to revitalize and improve the downtown ecosystem, their success is evident in the number of new businesses occupying buildings on the main strip that once sat idle. If they just look north along the lake shore they could see a good example of how Edgar Prince and his company did it.
"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want."
- Zig Ziglar

We are conditioned to be consumers. We get this both from our human nature of “me first”, what do I want thinking, and all the marketing and advertising that surround us preying on those selfish instincts. But how do we use those same instincts to create rather than just consume?

How well do you remember the short fidget spinner craze? Every kid and some adults had to have a fidget spinner to play with. I began seeing kids playing with them and within a week my son came back from his 2nd-grade class and told me that he really wants a fidget spinner. So we start checking them out.

We went to the store and after some difficulty, we found them for $19. We decided to check online and find them on Amazon for between $8 and $15.

Now normal consumer mode is, you go to the store, you see something you like, and you buy it. I wanted it, I bought it. Mission accomplished.

Advanced consumer mode is you see something that you want, you look around for the best price and then you buy it, congratulating yourself that you saved money, and ignoring the fact that you just spent money. So saving money really wasn’t a savings at all just a reduction of the amount you spent.

I wanted to show my son something else and so we checked out the Alibaba site which is a great place to pick up products from overseas wholesalers. We found fidget spinners that you could buy in large quantities at great prices, then we found one seller whose minimum quantity was 5 and the price was $1.75 each. Now we could have slipped back into consumerism and purchased a larger quantity and walked away feeling good about the deal we had gotten. But I wanted him to see the bigger picture.

I wanted him to take that instinct of “I want something” and understand how others wanted things too and so we had a conversation about other kids. Do the kids in his class want some of these too? We talked about him possibly buying these at these low prices and selling them to others in his class.

So, he decided to go for it. I placed the order and he went to his piggy bank and brought me $8.75 for the 5 fidget spinners.

Three weeks later they arrived and he obviously had fun playing with them. But the next morning he took them with him in his backpack. Now he had already told a few of his friends about them and so the first day he sold 2 for $5 each and by the end of the week, he sold a third one. He decided to give one of them to his sister and of course, keep one for himself.

This meant that while he had to wait for three weeks before he got one, he now had one for himself, he gave one away to his sister and he helped three kids in his class get one at a very low price compared to the stores. Plus, he walked away with a profit of $6.25.

Standard consumerism means he pays $19 for a toy. Entrepreneurialism means he helps others get one for much less then they would have and he walks away with a toy and a profit.

We talked about doing the whole thing again and making some more money. And this led to 2 conversations.
  1. Understanding the temporary nature of a fad. I talked to him about what a fad is and how they come and go, sometimes rather quickly and since he had seen this one come quickly but didn’t have enough life experience to see fads go, I told him stories about how other fads had come and gone. And we realized that this fad would fade in time.
  2. His natural market for selling these was limited and he realized that almost every one of the kids he knew now had a fidget spinner and trying to sell more, while it’s possible, would face increasing difficulty. There are times to take your small easy profit and walk away instead of always reaching for more and bigger profits.
Being an entrepreneur doesn’t always mean that you have to start a business. Sometimes it just means seeing a need and realizing that you can find a solution to that need for yourself and others. But it requires you to see beyond your own, me first, what do I want mentality and think about what others want. Because if you help enough others get what they want, you will be able to get what you want.

Today Christian still talks about fads and points out things that he wonders might be or become fads. He is still dominated by the “me first”, what do I want mentality, (aren’t we all?), but he is now looking at the world and seeing opportunity to make money while helping others where before he saw only what he himself wanted.

There are times when you are in situations where none of the outcomes are very desirable and it seems you must make the best of a bad situation by choosing the lesser of two evils. But maybe, just maybe there is another path out there if you use your imagination.

In 1992 Southwest Airlines faced a high stakes dilemma. It's much-advertised slogan. "just plane smart" was, unfortunately, too similar to the "plane smart" slogan already being used by Stevens Aviation, an airline sales company in South Carolina.

It seemed that a lawsuit was imminent.

But a lawsuit is how ordinary CEO's settle their differences.

Herb Kelleher, Southwest's (crazy like a fox) CEO was no ordinary CEO.  Along with the CEO of Stevens Aviation, he staged "Malice in Dallas". The two men actually agreed to arm wrestle for the right to use the slogan! The newspapers and TV journalist jumped on the story giving each company enormous publicity.

Amid much fanfare and pomp, Southwest's Kelleher lost the match. With the crowd cheering and chanting, he was carried off in a stretcher. And what about that "plane smart" trademark? Stevens Aviation agreed to let Southwest use it anyway.

By trying something a little crazy Herb not only solved the problem, avoided litigation but he made it so that both companies received a lot of great publicity.

Too often when confronted with a problem we can only see one path ahead of us. in this case all of Herb's lawyers were telling him to get ready for a long drawn out lawsuit but Herb was a guy who was willing to think outside of the box and he let his mind wander until he found another possible path.

Yes, one that was a little crazy, but that's what made it so awesome.

When it seems you only have undesirable paths in front of you then maybe it's time to try something crazy.

When I was 16, I found myself in the unusual position of being in charge of the mailings dept team of a large nonprofit organization.

I remember one mailing where, as I was given the request and plans, I saw some problems, so I went to the office of Rob, the dept head who had requested the mailing. I explained the problem and he and I proceeded to brainstorm a solution. After 20 minutes, we felt like we had a workable solution. Rob then called a quick meeting of the other Dept heads involved in the project.

Now to set the stage, there were eight people at the table, each of them a Dept head or someone with technical expertise involved in the problem. The youngest of which was 10 years my senior. Then there was me, the literal "new kid on the block", the 16 year old who could have easily passed off as 14 years old. I was the guy with no credibility, no natural reason why anyone would notice or pay any attention to me or what I had to say. I assumed I would just pretty much be silent in the meeting and that Rob would run the meeting since he had called it.

I was surprised when he started the meeting by saying that there was a problem with the current setup of this large mailing, "but Seth came up with a great solution", turning to me to explain our solution. He could have easily and legitimately claimed credit or used the term "we" and explained it himself. But he did something unusual,
  • He gave me all the credit
  • He gave me all the credibility I needed by calling it a great plan
  • He turned the spotlight over to me, making me the primary driver of the meeting conversation.
This was 25 years ago and I still remember his words so clearly. I would never forget the confidence boost it gave me, the generous way he shared the credibility that he had with someone who had very little.

My teenage years were very unusual. I started working part-time when I was 13, full-time when I was 15, and by the time I was 17, I was putting in 60+ hour weeks and loving it. Along the way, as the need arose, I was promoted to manager over various progressively larger teams, moves that seemed strange largely because of my age. Strangely, the first time I had someone younger than me working for me and it was when I was 19.

As you can imagine other employees were quite skeptical of me being put in charge, My own boss initially didn't think it was possible for me to handle these situations because of my age. But, interestingly, his boss, Dwight the department director, simply said, let's give it a try and see if he can handle it. And so, I was thrown into the deep end of the pool to see if I could swim.

The pressure that was placed on me at a very young age was unusual in our society but, I learned and grew so much during that time, it was invaluable to me.

One of the things I experienced during that short period of my life was a great deal of discrimination based on my age. People would:
  • Dismiss what I had to say based on my age.
  • Tell me I couldn't do things because of my age.
  • Dismissively patronize me as I was trying to get things done.
  • Go around me to talk to my team members because they were older and must be in charge.
  • People I had negotiated large contracts with over the phone would do a double take when we met for the first time in person.
  • People felt surprisingly free to challenge me when I made a statement; making me feel I had to always be on the defensive because it was so easy for them to doubt my credibility.
  • People felt free to talk over me at meetings, or in some cases, barely even acknowledge that I was there.
Today however things are different: I am a 40-year-old, 6 foot 2 inches tall, Caucasian male with a deep enough voice. Professionally dressed and articulate enough that I could go almost anywhere, in almost any situation, and be taken seriously, given the benefit of the doubt and looked up too. It's easy for me to walk into pretty much any meeting and be listened too.

I don't currently deal with that same discrimination that I faced back then because I grew up. but going through it and experiencing it was a valuable learning experience. As you can imagine at times it was difficult but there were these few people like Rob and Dwight who through small acts of support showed empathy and grace, giving me the chance and opportunity that I needed to accomplish what many doubted I could because of my youth and inexperience. They looked beyond what the preconception that others had and gave me a chance to prove myself.

Looking back at what they did makes me wonder about what I am currently doing.

Our society generally ascribes leadership and credibility with some combination of the attributes of tall, deep-voiced, light skinned, older men, who dress "professionally" and speaks articulately. Yes, you can find many, many exceptions, but this is a generalized statement. Rob and Dwight fit those attributes yet they took someone who didn't quite match up to peoples preconceived notions of leadership and used their leadership and credibility to gave him the opportunity to prove himself. They used their culturally accepted credibility and shared it with someone who lacked what they naturally had.

I now live a life where I have leadership and credibility attributed to me, I have gained this through a combination of my own efforts of hard work and things given to me by my DNA of which I had zero involvement. I now have a proverbial seat at the table. What am I doing with it?

Having a seat at the table is great and all, but are you pulling out chairs for others to come and join you?

To quote an overused quote from the movie Spiderman: "with great power comes great responsibility."

You may think to yourself that you don't have any superpowers. You’re not chairman of the board of anything, you don't fit the list of culturally accepted leadership attributes, so you may feel that you need to wait for someone else to come along to help you. DON'T. You, right now, have a level of leadership, credibility, and power. What are you doing with it? Are you sharing what you have and giving a hand up to others by bringing them to the same table and sharing credibility with them so that they can have the opportunity to do what you have done.

There is a scarcity mentality that makes us fearful of giving away any leadership opportunity or credibility building situations because we are afraid that if we give away any of what we have it will mean less for us in the future. Rob, the guy from the initial story, could have so easily and naturally run that meeting by himself, it's what I expected him to do. Instead, he did the unusual and generous thing of putting the spotlight on me instead of himself. I still look up to him as a leader because of it.

I recently watched a short video with Arnold Schwarzenegger. At one point he started talking about being a self-made man:

“I came over here with absolutely nothing. I had $20 in the pocket and some sweaty clothes in a gym bag. Starting out, I had this one little apartment and on Thanksgiving, the bodybuilders from Gold’s Gym came to my apartment and they brought me pillows, dishes, silverware, all of the things I didn’t have. None of us can make it alone. None of us. Not even me, who’s been the Terminator and went back in time to save the human race. Not even me, that fought and killed predators with his bare hands.
“I always tell people that you can call me anything that you want, but don’t ever, ever call me a self-made man. It gives the wrong impression, that we can do it alone. None of us can. The whole concept of the self-made man or woman is a myth. I would have never made it in my life without the help. I want you to understand this because as soon as you know you are here because of a lot of help, then you also understand that now it’s time to help others. That’s what this is all about.”

You have achieved what you have through a combination of your family, your DNA, your birthplace, your time of birth, your environment, your community, your educational opportunities, your own will, desire, and hard work. Some of that you can claim credit for (good for you!), some of it you had handed to you. Despite it being overused, "with great power, comes great responsibility"
  • Who are you helping?
  • Who are you giving a hand up to?
  • Who are you giving an opportunity to?
  • Who are you shining the spotlight on?
  • Who are you bringing into your network or group of friends?
  • Who are you bringing in front of your peers and saying "_______ has a great idea"?
  • Who are you pulling out a chair for at the table?


We were taking a family trip, heading towards Austin, Texas. Due to spending too much time visiting a zoo, we weren’t going to make it to Austin that night, so I told Marie that we were probably going to end up spending the night in Waco Texas, and I saw her eyes light up.


Just a few years ago if you mentioned the city of Waco to anyone over the age of 35 their mind would haved gone to the FBI standoff with the Branch Davidian cult that ended in disaster in the early 90’s. That incident put the city of Waco on the map of people's consciousness.

So I was a little surprised that Marie was excited to stop in Waco until she mentioned that Waco was where Chip and Joanna Gaines were from and where they had their Magnolia store.


Our plans for the next morning immediately changed as we were now going to spend the morning at the Magnolia store. And it quite an experience as it should be.


Magnolia isn't in the downtown district or the shopping district, you go to the middle of the old run-down industrial area where it doesn’t look like anything has been built, or even seriously remodeled, for the last 30 years. Just a bunch of run-down factories, workshops and warehouses; and there in the middle is a large city block that is dominated by two old grain storage silos and a long industrial shop that looks like it was built in the 1940s, along with some other various small buildings and sheds. You could tell that this block was an eyesore within a larger eyesore of a rundown industrial center of a somewhat old and tired town that hadn’t seen vibrant growth in decades.


To my right I noticed a small brick building with the name Magnolia Bakery. Already there was a line out the door and around the block waiting to get in to buy some baked goods. Then I realized that even though we arrived at 9:00 AM on a Tuesday morning parking was hard to find, the empty deserted parking lots of the nearby old factories were being used and still we had to drive a block away to find parking. I saw people directing traffic and people greeting as you walked into the gates of the complex. I finaaly undersood my wife's excitement and I feared for my walled. We had just landed ourselves at the disneyland of Texas


The long old factory remade into a very cool looking store that had left so much of the old industrial feel in place and utilized it to give the store character. One corner brick building redone into a bakery, one shed remade into a seed store for gardeners, another rebuilt into a gardening supply store. The large open area on this city block made into a courtyard with green astroturf to make it a kid-friendly, family play area. I saw swings on the edges, large checkerboards, cornhole games and massive bean bag chairs sitting all over. What a fun place to hang out and play. They even used part of the old half shed with tin roof that they pulled the trucks through to load and empty the grain into the grain elevators, and really creatively, made it into a stage for performances looking out onto the courtyard green, complete with lights tucked up under the tin roof to light the stage. To top it off, the other two walls of this large courtyard were lined with around 16 food trucks, each with their own self contained business.

And destination it was. I did an informal poll of the people that I met there; asking where they were from, answers ranged from Kansas, Oklahoma, Dallas, Lufkin TX, Pennsylvania, Arizona, Kentucky, San Antonio, TX, Houston, TX and we were from Michigan. People were willing to drive early on a Tuesday morning in November. This place was THE place. The destination to draw people to this sleepy little town in the middle of Texas.


This place was a great example of how to run a good business. Their prices were exorbitantly high and people were flocking in to buy. I pointed out to my son how they had taken a clear small glass mason jar (cost maybe $1), put a bunch of wooden matches in it (cost $0.25), put a tin lid on it (maybe $0.25) with a sandpaper sticker on top of the lid, labeled it with Magnolia and called it “jar o matches” and sold it for $15. The store was packed, and I do mean packed. The line wrapped around the block for the bakery and the food trucks were doing brisk business.


Chip and Joanna Gaines are brilliant. Not only did they build a successful home design and remodeling business, but they parlayed that, combined with their fun, authentic, winsome personalities, into a HDTV show that made them not just well-known in their hometown, but world recognized and loved celebrities. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t love Chip and Joanna, their show was incredibly popular, and interestingly, they made the show highlight not just their work but also their hometown of Waco. Giving the broader world a reason, other than a disastrous cult standoff, to think of Waco. Then they used that show and their celebrity status to publicize the buying, restoring and opening a store on what used to be a worn-down wreck of a grain elevator and industrial block.


So, if you have seen the show or know anything about them you know that they are smart, likable, and have done alright for themselves. Good for them.

But what I saw is how they used their celebrity status. You see, most celebrities have great business opportunities pitched to them all the time, where they can take their name, face or voice and endorse someone else's product and make tons of money. Or, the smarter ones build their own brand name then slap that brand name on products from perfumes, clothing lines, sports equipment, and then National or International store chains carry those lines of product converting their nationwide celebrity into nationwide sales. Everyone from Martha Stewart to Kardashians and scores of others have followed this proven formula of successfully building and capitalizing on their celebrity brand status.

But Chip and Joanna Gaines did something unusual, they went local.


They had a National or larger fan base but instead of creating the Magnolia brand and selling it through Target or Amazon they instead created a local store in their favorite hometown of Waco. But they took it a step further, they didn’t just grab the best location in the nicest Waco shopping district, the cool downtown location or go up the road to upscale locations in Dallas next to the Apple store. They took the forgotten, neglected and looked like it needed to be torn down block in the middle of the industrial area that had two perfectly useless grain storage elevators and an old industrial building along with a collection of sheds.


This is a business that seemingly breaks all the ‘location, location, location’ rules.


With some creativity and vision, they bought it, turning it into a collection of stores and small businesses that provide a shopping experience worthy of drawing people from states away and leaving people stamped with the memory of their experience. Shopping and paying $15 for a ‘jar o matches’. They provided employment for a bunch of people in their hometown, they revitalized some of the worst parts of Waco, and you could just start seeing the coffee shops and restaurants, and even a coworking space popping up in the old industrial buildings in the blocks surrounding Magnolia. They made Waco into a tourist destination.


They made a huge impact in a small pond.



They could have just sold products under their brand name at Target and killed it, but they decided to do their own thing, in their own way, in their own town. Maybe they didn’t fully capitalize on their celebrity, maybe they left potential money on the table. But they sure have made a significant, and what I am guessing, long-standing impact on their town. Yeah, I think Chip and Joanna are doing fine financially, and maybe they could have sold through Amazon and made a few more million. Then they could have given those after-tax millions to their local community NFP organizations who were working to revitalize the city and area of Waco, or they could just launch their local business and have that business make the local impact that the community organizations only dream about.


It seems that the vision we are always given for growing a business is to get that business to a regional or national or international presence but what if instead we made a massive impact in our local community.


Behind the businesses in your community are some of the most interesting, enjoyable, and amazing people you’ll ever meet. Getting to know the person behind the display window of a shop, the inspiration behind a unique restaurant, or the driving force behind an amazing service business will open your eyes, and in many cases, even inspire you.

I think of small businesses as the bedrock of our communities. They’re the hidden engine that keeps the community humming and prosperous. Ayn Rand likened them to Atlas holding the world on their shoulders, and there’s a lot of truth to that.

One of the characteristics of bedrock is that you don’t see it. But you do see the small businesses in your community. You see them every day, don’t you? You walk or drive by them. You shop in them. You ask them to do things for you. You know them pretty well.

But do you really? Do you really know them? Do you even care about them?

Take for example Donut City in Seal Beach California, owned and operated for three decades by John Chan and his wife Stella. John and Stella came to Orange County as refugees from Cambodia in 1979. Since then, they’ve worked side by side every morning to serve donuts at their Pacific Coast Highway shop. They’ve become a fixture and a familiar landmark in the area, and, by the way, their donuts are amazing.

Not long ago, clients began noticing that Stella was missing from the shop. When some of them asked about her, they were shocked to discover she had suffered an aneurysm. She was alive, but weak and in rehab, and she was going to be in rehab for a long time. Every day, John did all the work necessary to keep Donut City humming and its customers happy, and then he rushed home to be with her as soon as the shop sold out of doughnuts.

The regulars expressed their concern and suggested to John that they set up a gofundme page to raise money, but John saw no need for it. He was sure that so long as he kept working at the donut shop they were fine financially. He did express his desire to spend more time with Stella to help her through her long recovery.

Those same regulars weren’t willing to let it go. They decided to do something. Through social media and word of mouth they got the word out that John needed to sell out his donuts early every day so he could return to the rehab center where Stella was recovering. They encouraged people to buy a dozen or so donuts on their way to work in the morning. It worked. The regulars did it, and so did the “semi-regulars.” They began stopping by every morning for a dozen or more for the office. John was often able to shut down as early as 10:00 on some mornings and spend the rest of the day helping his wife.

To John and Stella’s customers, it became more than just buying some donuts. In this time of need, they became friends, who were supporting a great couple and a man who needed to spend time with his wife. And they got to eat great donuts. The customers became the champion and marketing arm, not for Donut City, but for John and Stella. Why? Because that’s what friends do. Talk about a win-win.

You’d be amazed at how many of the businesses that you come in contact with have stories like this behind them. I get to hear these stories from the business owners I coach. They feel the weight of the well being of their employees and their families on their shoulders. They could use the encouragement of someone else coming along and, by word or deed, saying, “Hey, I see you, and I appreciate what you do.”

John and Stella were one of these local small business owners whose faces behind the counter became part of the bedrock of their community. When their time of struggle came, their customers decided to support them in the best way they knew how.

That’s what friends and communities do.
“The most dangerous risk of all: the risk of spending your life not doing
what you want on the bet you can buy the freedom to do it later.” - Anonymous

Why would you ever start a business?

The first reasons are ones we’ve all heard before; be your own boss, get rich, have more freedom. These are valid reasons, but is there more?

Molly and Jeremy, recently married, found themselves at an interesting crossroad. Jeremy, was now a civilian, having just come off his second deployment to Iraq. Molly had finished seminary and was an ordained minister, but didn’t yet have a church to lead. They had no commitment to a community or anything else, other than each other. They were looking for a place to put down roots.

The world and all its possibilities were before them. Now, what to do with it?

Jeremy had long thought about owning his own business after his military service. He spent a lot of time studying business and business models during his downtime in Iraq, trying to figure out what kind of a business he could launch. He had loved teaching leadership at various military schools. Molly was looking for a congregation to teach, build up, and minister.

It was an epiphany -- an “aha” moment, and a big one -- that made all the difference in their lives. It set them in the right direction.

They both wanted to do something worthwhile with their lives, he with a business and she with a congregation. And they both wanted a community in which to grow and build. A minister naturally seeks a community to serve, and they both knew that finding the right community would be central to Molly’s ambitions. But, until their big “aha” they thought a business was simply a way to make money, and a good business would be a fun way to make money. Molly’s ministry would be a source of satisfaction; Jeremy’s business would be a source of money.

Then the “aha” hit them. Not all at once, but over the course of a lot of talking and planning. It started with a question.

How could they start a business that will not only allow them to be their own boss and to be rewarded financially as the business grows but to also design it with the idea of them making an impact in the world through changed lives?

To meet both those objectives would require some serious forethought and planning.

They knew that they wanted it to be a gathering place of people
  • Restaurant? - not really having any experience in restaurants and the complexity of running an independent restaurant - doesn’t seem like the best fit.
  • Bar or brewery - good gathering spot but it really wasn’t their scene or passion and would not attract the people they wanted - not even seriously considered.
  • Coffee shop - now this is closer, a meeting place for a wide spectrum of people, but the market is fairly mature and they would be trying to break into an existing market.
  • Ice cream store, hmm interesting, attracts that youth demographic but it’s also a fairly mature marketplace with lots of entrenched competition.
  • Frozen Yogurt (Froyo) attracts the right cross-section of people, rapidly growing niche, the small city of Holland that they wanted to live in didn’t currently have any froyo shops. 
They started looking and found some attractive franchise companies who had figured out a lot of the logistics and business model. They decided on buying an Orange Leaf Franchise and to take the plunge into business ownership.

Molly wanted a place that she could bring in groups of teen girls for bible studies and a place where they could hire young people and mentor them through working at the business. They found a location and launched.

They went through the usual business startup issues, early losses, competition moving in, figuring out how to run it, figuring out how to hire and train. The business worked and was profitable, not as much as they wanted it to be, but still profitable.

But the question is, did this business add to their life or take from it? There are many in our society who have accepted that their job will suck and will drain the life out of them but it pays the bills and so they grudgingly go to work each morning. But this should never be the case for a business owner, after all, a business owner has more invested, they have taken on a lot more risk and they put up with a lot of extra hassle. So a business should both reward them financially but also help to give them the life they want.

I often tell people that the purpose of your Life isn’t to serve your business but the purpose of your business is to serve your life, to give you more of it.

Molly and Jeremy are the rare entrepreneurs who sat down before they even decided on a business to start and determined what kind of a life they wanted to live. They thought about and talked about what made them tick, what kind of a dent they wanted to put into the universe, what kind of a ministry they wanted to have in the community.

They figured out their core purpose. What makes them tick as people.

Then they very intentionally launched a business that not only made money but also gave them this kind of a life. They made sure before it even opened that the strategic intent of the business matched up to the core purpose that they had identified for their lives.
Entrepreneurship is mentally and emotionally hard. It takes a great deal of self-reliance and deep internal endurance to continue when you want to quit. Being an entrepreneur is hard because it’s on you. Success is on you. Results are on you. Making the call, doing the things you don't like to do...all on you. Making it requires willingness to be uncomfortable yet still push forward. To know that you might be uncomfortable, you might be in pain, you might be embarrassed, and you’ll certainly be challenged, but you’ll still persevere. Any marathon runner will tell you that strong legs help, but what defines a marathoner is the ability to continue running when your body says stop. Your body will rebel and start screaming at you to stop--right now--but your mind tells your legs to keep going. One more step. And another. And another.

I was recently at the Grand Canyon with my family and naturally wanted to hike to Phantom Ranch at the bottom and then back up. But as I talked to the rangers about doing it in one day, they said, “No way. That’s a hike for really experienced hikers.” I mentioned that my 9-year-old son wanted to go with me and they said “absolutely not,” so, being a responsible parent and respecter of limitations that authority figures lay on me, I went right on planning our hike. We left our RV at 5:45 AM and caught a bus to the trailhead. At the rim of the canyon, when we started, the temperature was in the high teens, and at the bottom it was in the 70s, which makes clothing an interesting challenge, especially when you want to bring extra warm clothes for just in case situations. I wasn’t sure if there would be food or water available on the way so I brought enough of both for the entire day of hiking plus extra for safety.

An interesting thing about hiking the Grand Canyon is that you start out going downhill but you end the day climbing uphill. So as we started out Christian was loving it. He wanted to climb ever rock face and explore every little side pocket and trail as any boy naturally would.


So we started a conversation that spanned the entire day, about what it was going to take for him to make it all the way back up to the top. I talked to him about running marathons, how when you are at the starting line and feeling great, but you know that in a little while you will be in pain and beyond tired. At that point it’s up to you to draw down that mental toughness to keep going, taking that next step and the one after that. I talked to him about being prepared for that time so that when it comes he would be ready mentally.

Seriously biased dad here but he was amazing. He handled it like a champ. He was ahead of me for the 9 miles down, but the downhill section isn’t the time that tries men's souls. After Lunch at Phantom Ranch we started the trek up and after a long time came to the final 3 miles of steep switchback trails. This is where your feet feel like you have 10 lbs weights on them. He knew this was coming and knew it would be hard. But he never complained. Not once. We made it to the top with daylight to spare. He was one tired but happy boy. So was I.


Now you can read this and say, Yay Christian good for you! And yes he did great, but what’s interesting is what has happened since that time. It’s been over a year now, and he and I have jogged the stairs up and down the dunes, jogged through the sands, swam roughly ⅓ of a mile in the waves of Lake Michigan, and gone through some gruelling soccer practices. Never once has he said he couldn’t do it, or that he was too tired to go on. Once or twice he brought up the fact that this was tough, but not as tough as the Grand Canyon hike.

That hike did something inside of him. Something deep in him now knows that when the going gets tough he can keep going. He has a mental anchor. He knows he did something hard once and made it through. I think that, in a small but important way, that day hiking the Grand Canyon will stick with him forever.

This past Summer he expressed an interest in making some money. After we talked about what he could do, we made a plan, and I printed some business cards for him. Then came the hard part. We went door to door in our neighborhood and he knocked on every door and told them about his business, leaving each of them with a business card magnet for them to put on their fridge.

In case you’re not aware, going door to door selling your services is HARD.

He’s 9 years old so he still has a little bit of that cuteness factor going for him, but anyway you cut it, it’s hard to muster the courage to walk up to a stranger’s door, knock, and then tell them about your business. Don’t believe me, try it sometime.

I knew it would be hard and that he might not be able to make it on his own (just as he might not be able to make the Grand Canyon hike alone), so I went with him, talked him through it, and encouraged him along the way. I Played up the positive responses and downplayed the negative ones. I never went up to the door, but stayed on the sidewalk like a trick or treating dad, because he had to be the one to knock and give his talk. He didn’t want to do his first house, but that went well so he was ready to try some more. After about 20 he said he was kind of done for the night, so we walked home. We’ve gone out a few other nights and each time it’s easier because he did something hard the first time and lived to tell the tale.

Let your kids do hard things. Let them be uncomfortable. Don’t make it too easy on them. Their future selves need to know that they can do hard things and get through them, that being uncomfortable and in pain doesn’t mean to stop but to keep moving forward, one step. Then another. And another.